Steps for Planning a Persian Marriage

1. Set the wedding date together with both families.

2. Choose a theme, a color, and a flower and use them throughout the ceremony.

3. Set a budget and choose a bridal gown.

4. Get in touch with the holy man who will perform the ceremony (it could also be performed by any respected member of the family).

5. Get information about the state's marriage laws.

6. Get medical examinations.

7. Make a guest list including addresses. Usually older people are invited for Aqd (marriage-contract ceremony), and younger people are invited to the reception (Arusi).

8. Reserve a place for the reception. (Keep in mind that Aqd is always in the home of the bride's parents, or that of her close relatives. Arusi is hosted by the parents or relatives of the groom.

9. Print and mail invitation cards, or use my wedding cards available from the same publisher as this book. These are expecially useful for explaing the traditions of a Persian wedding to American friends.

10. Arrange food catering.You may photocopy the sweet rice (javahar polow, page 172), or sweet rice (shirin polow, page 166) recipes in this book to give to your caterer. If your caterer has any questions on preparing the rice, you may have them contact me through Mage Publishers.

11. Arrange pastry and flower catering and photography or video.

12. Get in touch with musicians.

13. Make an appointment with your hairdresser and your makeup artist.

14. Make arrangements for the transportation of gifts.

15. Choose and buy a gift for the bride/groom. If you are member of the groom's close family, you must buy a gift for the bride (traditionally jewelry or family jewelry) and vice versa.

16. Arrange a wedding shower (usually arranged by close family or friends of the bride).

17. Prepare a bridal registry. Check with major department stores and specialty shops. Don't feel bad in registering with a department store, the wedding shower is an old Persian custom still practiced in the villages of Iran. A few days before the marriage, an old wise woman of the community goes around with a large bag and collects gifts and household items for the newlywed couple-to-be to alleviate financial difficulties they will face.

Credits: All photos and recipes from New Food of Life: Ancient Persian & Modern Iranian Cooking & Ceremonies or Silk Road Cooking: a Vegetarian Journey, copyright Najmieh Batmanglij 1986-2004. Courtesy of Mage Publishers, 1032 29th St. NW, Washington, DC 20007.